When is baby number 2 coming along?

That seems to be such a common question and a hard question to answer at that. I have no idea when and IF that will happen. Right now my health is my number one concern. I haven't been feeling the best for a while now and am currently waiting for results from some tests.




So how do I respond? Each time is different & many times I'm fighting back tears because part of me wants more kids and another part of me is very happy with my son. Some days I find myself very confused on this topic.




A while back we were at a church and I had 3 people come up to me and basically say the same thing, oh we didn't know you were pregnant again, when are you due? By the time the third person said that to me, it was all I could do to fight back the tears and resist screaming I'm fat, I know it, I don't know why, please leave me alone!!! Instead I would calmly say no, I'm just fat. To which they usually replied no you are not. (but inside I know/feel different about that). Once I figure out what is going on with me maybe then some of this weight will drop.




Sometimes I wish people just wouldn't ask.

I wish I could go back in time.

There are many days that I wish I could go back in time. Why? Here are a few reasons:
- I would treat my mother & father with more respect
- I would listen more to what they had to say
- I would give them more hugs & say I love you more
- I would spend more time with them.

As some people may or may not know my mom passed away December 18,2009. Two weeks before she went in the hospital via amulance I was sick. We weren't sure what was wrong. I decided that it was best for me to stay away from my mom, during that time. If I knew she was dying so quickly I would have spent every waking minute with her, that I could. I regret not spending time with her (even though I knew I was sick and that it was best to keep my germs to myself). I miss her every single day.

things in life

Outside my window… I see the glimpse of the wind blowing in the trees, the dampness of the rain that we have received in the last few days. I see the leaves growing on the trees, the quiet of the neighbourhood.


I am thinking… I wonder if this is even a good question. I have lots of my mind right now. Lots of things I want and need to get done today. Currently though in my mind is vacation. I wonder if we will get to go away for a couple of nights or if we will stick close to home and try to take in a few things near us. We will see as the time gets closer.


I am thankful for… oh where to start? I am so thankful for so much. Thankful for a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes to wear, a loving family, a caring husband, a handsome son. There's so much to be thankful for. I can walk, I can see and hear, I can breathe on my own, I can smell, I can touch, I can talk. There's just so much to be thankful for.

From the kitchen…there are dishes that need to be put in the dishwasher, hamburger that is cooked and chicken in the oven cooking.


I am hearing…the cd of Steven Curtis Chapman playing in the background. I am also hearing Jack playing with his toys. Currently he has his trucks & his hockey boxes

Around the house…there are things to pick up and put away.

One of my favourite things… spending time with my family. I cherish the weekends when Dh and I don't have to work and we can usually get that time to spend it together as a family, even if it means going grocery shopping.

8 things updated

8 things I look forward to:
-seeing the flowers bloom
-watching my boy play hockey
-time with friends this week
-time with friends on the weekend
-helping my dad out
-eating more chocolate brownie cake
-grocery shopping
-going to bed and getting some much needed sleep


8 things I did yesterday:
-went to church
-held one of my nephews (6 weeks)
-ate turkey dinner
-received a mothers day gift from hubby and Jack (a new bicycle helmet, golf balls & tee's)
-received a carnation for mothers day
-talked with my husband
-stopped in at my mothers grave and put some flowers back
-called my dad to tell him we were home

8 things I wish I could do:
- keep my house organzied
-cut the cost of groceries without cutting out food
-not have to blow my nose (allergies)
-fly like an eagle
-fix things when they need to be fixed, ie repairs, etc
-draw
-pick out a paint color for my livingroom
-snap my fingers and have my house all cleaned up

8 shows I watch
-amazing race (over now)
-survivor
-csi
-sometimes rachel ray but not often
-wheel of fortune when I get a chance
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Thankful

What am I thankful for? These are just 10 of my thankful items.

1. time with my family
2. time with dh's family
3. food on the table
4. water to drink
5. the rain falling on the ground
6.being able to make a fire to warm the house
7. walking
8.talking
9.clean clothes
10.work

mother's day

(Jack & my mom Halloween 2009)

Mother's day has come and gone but what a good day it was. It was still a hard day/weekend as my mother passed away dec. 18, 2009 and I miss her so much.
We visited with the inlaws and Jack has a blast because he got to play with his couins for most of the weekend. He loved that.

Back to mother's day. I didn't sleep much all weekend. Every time I closed my eyes I pictured my mother lying in the hospital bed taking her last breath. (which I did see because before she passed on as I spent quite a few days by her bedside). Friday night of my not so much sleep I watched the clock most of the night. Saturday night, my son, Jack was sleeping on the floor next to the bed. In the wee morning hours he started laughing. This so made my long night because I was having great difficulty keeping my eyes closed for any length of time.

Sunday during church the pastor was praying for the ladies/moms/women of the church and he prayed for those that have lost their mothers, well at that point the tears rolled down my face. Hubby squeezed me tight and then I pulled myself together. I so miss my mom and to give anything to have another moment with her I so would. We did stop at her gravesite on the way home. I put the flowers back in that we had taken out before it snowed (they are fake) as we didn't want them to get ruined by the winter weather.

All in all besides not much sleep and trying to keep my own emotions together we had a good weekend.